


All Tied Up.

by Confused_Foam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, But that's much less important, Choking, Dialogue Light, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Red String of Fate, Soulmate AU, Well Probably a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confused_Foam/pseuds/Confused_Foam
Summary: It is meant to be a blessing. A gift not given many, rare enough to be practically legend. A guiding line given by the gods that you can follow to your destiny. A red string of fate.Koushi would much rather view his should-be-treasured gift as a curse.





	All Tied Up.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nibel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nibel/gifts).



> Hello! This is my Interhigh Exchange gift for Nibel. 
> 
> Dear Nibel,  
> I hope you like this, I've never written any soulmate au anything before, or any daisuga, but I had a good time doing it. I also hope the themes i did tackle are one's you like, i don't feel like i got that dark, but i tried to keep it more serious. I would be very excited to hear with you think, but no pressure of course, not everyone likes leaving comments. Happy IH exchange, and i wish you and yours well.  
> Love,  
> Hope

It is meant to be a blessing. A gift not given to many, rare enough to be practically legend. A guiding line given by the gods that one could follow to some grandiose destiny. A red string of fate. 

Koushi would much rather view his should-be-treasured gift as a curse. 

Not always, though. When he was younger it had been a simple fascination. A thin red string, tied around his pinky finger with a simple slipknot. Back then it hung loosely, and faded in and out of tangibility. Most of the time it was little more than a feather-light brush of skin. After all, a child's destiny is, in most cases, a far-off call.

As he grew older his fate grew more tangible more often. No longer a ghost of red, but still faded for years and years. Only a few centimeters off his hand it tapered off; whoever it was pulling him was nowhere in sight. Back then Koushi had been excited to meet his mysterious fate. The idea of a god-gifted romance, of a love written in the stars and bound with a crimson thread, was the dream of so many. The subject of films and classroom gossip alike. It was hard not get caught up in the flurry.

Being caught up in the romance of it all Koushi would spend warm spring afternoons following the gentle, almost breeze-like tugging around the streets. Never to any end, his fate still too far away, but 16-year-old Koushi just enjoyed the sunshine and the chase.

By his freshman year of college Koushi was no closer to the end of his string than he had been at the start of highschool. All his chasing had been for naught, and his fascination with the whole affair was drowned out by third year stress and entrance exams. Hanging limp and ignored, Koushi’s college of choice had very little to do with his ever-present fate in the end. 

__________ _ _ _

Meeting Sawamura Daichi was far from love at first sight. Well. Maybe it was a bit of an infatuation. Daichi is a very handsome man. But he wasn’t the anchor at the end of Koushi’s string. So Koushi doesn’t mention it. Either. Not his little crush, nor the red thread wrapped around his little finger. 

Regardless of these omissions they become fast friends. Their first months of knowing each other slip by with an easy banter that never fails to make Koushi’s heart flutter. Daichi is so solid and grounded. He makes Koushi forget about chasing his fate. Once again the red string that had occupied him just a few months ago is but a ghost in his mind. It becomes faded to the point that when Daichi finally asks him out Koushi can say yes without a lick of guilt. 

Koushi has always been a fan of the idea of love. It’s hard not to be when the gods had promised it to you before you were even born. But the promise of a love enough to be prewritten in the stars had turned the whole idea into something like a glass figurine sitting high on a shop shelf. Beautiful, but nothing he's supposed to touch if it isn’t his. Koushi is left totally unprepared for love despite spending his life waiting for it. It hits him like a vandal's bat when it finally does come his way. 

With the fanning of permission the embers of Koushi’s fondness grow to a respectable fire, more than enough to keep a man warm at night, and with time the flame grows stronger still. He never realized love would feel like this, he had always thought it would be more of a elegant dance, or a well written poem. The first time Daichi says he loves him Koushi isn’t reminded of prose or a twirl amongst violins, he feels like a field of wildflowers ablaze. Smokey, hot, and oddly sweet. They tip the taxi driver extra for their indecency, and Koushi is so distracted leaving and receiving marks that the tugging at his little finger goes unnoticed. 

__________ _ _ _

The little pulls go relatively unnoticed, marked by no more interest than a slight itch. After all, college is a whirlwind all on its own, and at times being a man in love is even more so. So, they are hardly more than a blip on his radar and go totally ignored when they come to call only while Daichi is peppering kisses over his face. As far as Koushi is concerned his fate and his life are at peace, or, as at peace as they can be when one is ignored in favor of the other. 

Unfortunately, the gods are demanding and fate does not take kindly to neglect. It’s a rather innocuous Friday when they seem to have had their fill of waiting calmly in the wings. 

They are in the middle of their usual Friday routine, sweatpants and streaming, cuddled up in Daichi’s bed. It’s simple and warm and quiet, curled around each other like cats. Business as usual. That is until Daichi skims his hand up Koushi’s leg and accidentally catches his hand on what he doesn’t know is there. It burns like ice so sharp and quick that Koushi doesn’t even think as he yelps and yanks himself away. 

“What?!” Daichi exclaims, sounding just as startled as Koushi is by the sudden outburst. “Are you okay?” 

Koushi nods, though he isn’t sure yet himself. He cradles his pinky with his other hand, and looks as closely as he dares while still trying to preserve his secret. The thread is more solid than it has been in a while, and there is a faint red ring all the way around where the knot was resting before sliding down. It aches a little, but doesn’t burn again as he closes his other fingers around it and lies. “Yeah it’s totally fine, just a little burn from my tea earlier, and it’s sort of sensitive is all.”

Somehow, Daichi buys it and Koushi spends the rest of the night biting his cheek to keep from yelling out when he goes to kiss his little finger before they go back to their show. 

__________ _ _ _

Where months had flown by, they suddenly begin to drag on. Koushi is stung by his fate more and more often. Sometimes Daichi doesn’t even have to touch the string to burn him. Koushi tries not be become afraid of touching his own boyfriend to marginal success. He doesn’t love Daichi a drop less, but it’s hard. Whether he means to or not, Koushi withdraws a bit. 

One particularly bad burn leaves Koushi hiding away under his blankets alone with the string of his own fate twisted round his fingers to keep him company instead of Daichi. It no longer feels like a a guiding gift, but a leash to keep him in line whether he wants to play along or not. Even now, alone and away from his defiance, it is a leaden weight that burns as he wishes to cast it off. 

Daichi comes unbidden, too good a man to leave his lover in hiding alone. He interrupts Koushi’s pity party with a few quiet words to his roommate and a less than smooth climb into his bed. “Hey Suga,” he whispers, wrapping himself around Koushi like yet another blanket. “Not feeling too good love?”

“No.” Koushi sniffs, wincing at the way the sting yanks tight as Daichi pulls him close, this time taking all his foolish fingers into its grasp. 

Daichi hums and nuzzles closer, “Want to watch a movie or something?” He asks. 

“Not really,” Koushi says, feeling doubly strangled now. 

“That’s fine,” Daichi said, seeming totally unbothered. “I love you lots, Suga,” he adds after a pause. Koushi can feel his fingers growing cold with lack of blood while the rest of him grows too warm in opposition. 

__________ _ _ _

Koushi’s fate takes a strange hold on his life. When Daichi is around he is burned and wrapped up so tight he feels as though he might lose a finger to lack of circulation. When Koushi is avoiding him, seeking even a slight break from the pain of the damned thing, it yanks at him instead, desperate for him to follow. A reminder once again of his place, a naughty dog on a lead stopping to sniff too long at what his owner sees a inconsequential flower. Fate is not a patient master, Koushi is learning, and it is apparently nearing the time for him to meet his. Regardless, he refuses to comply easily. 

He does, however, have to tell Daichi. At some point he’s left with no other choice. The string of his fate grows ever increasingly harsh. Like a snake it curls around him, and draws tight enough to leave marks that last hours. Daichi is too good a person to not ask about the red lines dug into his fingers and forearms, and Koushi is too weak of a person to keep lying to him. It turns into the biggest fight they’ve ever had in a year and a half of dating. 

In the weeks they aren’t talking, any relief Koushi may feel from the absent burning is smothered under the weight of his guilt. 

Mercifully, Daichi is forgiving where fate is not. After some time Koushi’s explanations are finally met with understanding and acceptance. Koushi pours out only truth. Well, he leaves out some things, like the extent of his former fascination with it, and reduces others, like the pain of the burning. But in all he is fairly honest. For some reason Daichi actually agrees to take him back. 

Worn out and still sensitive Koushi bids Daichi a farewell with a peck on the cheek and ceaseless thanks. He retreats back to his room, or more accurately, his blanket den. He falls asleep without worries for the first time in a while, unburdened by guilt and somehow unbothered by fate. 

__________ _ _ _

He’s choking. He can’t get any air. The string of his own fate is drawn tight enough that it feels like barbed wire around his neck. Digging into his neck. He can’t breath. He can’t breath. 

Koushi claws at his neck. Trying to loosen it. Trying to do anything. His nails scrabble against it but it feels a strong as steel. He’s choking. Unable to breath for the noose of his own fate. He can’t breath. He claws until he’s sure the string would be red with his blood even if it hadn’t started that way. 

He can’t breath.

He needs air.

He needs air. 

He needs 

Air 

Air 

Air

__________ _ _ _

Koushi wakes up with a scream, gasping desperately for air and digging at his own throat. The string hangs innocently off his pinky as he gulps in breaths. When he can almost breath again he finally lets his hands fall from his neck. The red clinging to his fingernails matches his string perfectly. He doesn’t get moving until he can feel the individual drips of blood running down his chest. 

Fortunately it is still early enough in spring to get away with a turtleneck sweater without too much concern. Unfortunately, the dream persists, and Koushi can’t hide anything from Daichi for long. What should have been a lovely night in their why-not-splurge second anniversary hotel room crying and holding onto each other. 

__________ _ _ _

Koushi takes to wandering again. When everything feels choking the breeze can help to force some air back into his lungs. But it isn’t like when he was younger. He is no longer chasing his fate. No, he spends too much time trying to ignore the pull of it yanking at his whole body. He wants none of it anymore. 

But however free a dog feels on a leash, in the end they must still yield to their owners guidance. The pull is so strong that at times Koushi finds himself following it without even meaning too. Often times this puts a quick end to his wandering, and he makes a dash back home. The avoidance works well for awhile, but at some point Koushi forgot he wasn’t the only dog on this walk. 

He is walking in a fog; too many poorly-slept nights in a row have left Koushi a man adrift in the wind, easy prey for his fate to pull along even as he absently texts Daichi. He doesn’t notice anything’s wrong until it is too late. 

There is an intersection between them, but there is not a doubt in Koushi’s mind that the man standing across the street is the very man that fate had decided for him. Cars pass through without a care but stretched between them is a thread, crimson red and taut as a bow string. The noise of the street vanishes entirely, and all Koushi hears is ringing. 

At first all he can do is stare, starting with the string and then flicking up to take in his face. He is very handsome. Beautiful even, with his fluffy, well styled hair and proud face. Koushi can’t bring himself to meet his eyes, so his gaze drifts downward instead. His neck and arms are as marked and scratched as Koushi’s, and for a moment it fills him with guilt to think that it might be his disobedience causing this suffering, but then he forces his eyes to move on to the man’s hands. They have the worst of the marking, his little finger in particular, but that isn’t the surprising part of it. No, the surprising part is the other finger looped through it, the pinkey of the other man he was walking with curled tight. A blatant disrespect of fate. 

Finally, Koushi looks up to meet this man’s eyes, finding them as wide as he his sure his are. Time seems to slow even further. He feels like he’s meant to stare forever into this strangers eyes. But it’s just that. He is a stranger. A random man on the street that Koushi knows nothing about and, beyond the oppressive feeling of fate’s iron hand, has no interest in getting closer to. 

The man’s eyes narrow, and the string pulls so tight it draws blood. Koushi is sure it's going to yank him into traffic trying to move him towards this stranger with such beautiful eyes - but he remembers painfully that these eyes just aren’t the right shade of brown. It’s with this thought that Koushi can finally break contact, closing his eyes briefly to picture Daichi’s. When he opens them again the stranger is smiling, and the string cuts deeper. 

It’s agony to turn around, but Koushi does it anyway, involuntary tears slipping down his face. The first three steps send the worst burning he’s ever felt all through him, but he grits his teeth and takes another step anyway. He wants nothing to do with that stranger, and elegant romances written in cold starlight. He has no use for glass figures sitting on a shelf. He takes another step, and his arm struggles to keep up, not an millimeter more slack to give. But he is no longer a dog on a leash, and it is plenty possible to break a thread with brute force.

The string yanks and he yanks back, and with a snap - the echos for only two to hear - Koushi breaks the guiding line of fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus points to whoever can guess who suga's soulmate was 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed, let me know if you want to see more like this in the future (more soulmate stuff or whatever) or i you think i missed any major tags. 
> 
> an absolutely HUGE thank you to bread for betaing this, you were a total lifesaver 
> 
> kudos and comments make my world go round, just saying.
> 
> You can find me on twitter @confused_foam where I talk about whatever takes my fancy that day lol


End file.
